The Halfling
by Keyearna Rainheart
Summary: This is a story about what it might have been like for Severus, growing up as a half-blood, down the stree from Lily Evans Potter. This story is dark, and contains spoilers, so read at your own risk.


**I do not own Harry Pott, or anything related to it.**

**This does contain spoilers, read at your own risk.**

Severus looked out the dusty window of the tiny house at the end of Spinner's End. He could see the little red haired girl and her sister playing in their front garden, and he longed to go out and play with them. He pressed his scratched hand to the window, then noticed his knuckles and let it fall.

He could see the older girl, she was holding the red haired girls bike steady so that she could get on. The bicycle had a muggle device on the sides. '

Trainingwheels' he thought. She was learning to ride her bike. His heart squeezed when he saw her look at his window, then smile. She waved, and then as if considering, beckoned him to come play with her. He shook his head and moved away from the window, at least for a moment. His seven year old heart couldn't take it. She was so kind to him.

She never asked about the bruises, the cuts, or the scraps. Not like the muggle school did. Someone there always asked where he'd gotten the bruise on his cheek, or the cut on his hand. The girl, Lily, never asked. She would touch them, and ask if they hurt. He would inevitably tell her they did not, though his heart hurt any time she saw them. He tried to cover the marks, with long sleeves, even in summer, with his mother's make-up. Some how, Lily always knew when he was hurt and where.

He could hear his mother in the kitchen, his father was at the pub, as was his ritual each day. Eileen Price Snape was a pure-blood witch. She had fallen into a run away romance at the young age of fourteen, become pregnant by fifteen and married very shortly after. If there was one thing worse than having a half-blood child, it was having one out of wedlock. Eileen had a love-hate relationship with her son. One moment she would be kind and gentle, and the next she would cast him aside like so much waste.

She blamed Severus for her unhappiness, and yet loved him for some reason that was completely unknown to her. She would not protect him from his father, but she would treat his injuries when she could.

Severus crept back to the window and sighed. Lily was gone, back inside he assumed. There was a loud bang in the kitchen, and then shouting. His father was home. He could hear his mother's voice claiming that she had been making soup, and that his father had ruined it. His father knowing when magic was being used, and hating it to his core claimed that soup didn't explode when you added thyme to it.

Severus could picture what was going on in the kitchen. His father would yell, his mother would counter. His father would raise his hand, and she would inevitably reach for her wand. His father would back down, turn, retreat. He would come up to Severus' room, and the beating would commence.

He could hear his father's steps coming closer. Down the hall. At his door. Severus turned to see his father, the door hanging open, his face haggard, a bottle in his fist.

Tobias Snape was an imposing man in the best of times, when he was drunk, and angry, he was a nightmare. Severus backed against the wall. Preparing for the first blow. When it came, he moved his mind away from his body, and focused on the little red haired girl.

The light tapping of stones on her window had Lily climbing from bed, and pushing the window open. She smiled to see him, and quickly pulled on a pair of shorts under her night shirt, before climbing down the trellis.

When she reached him he gave a half smile, that faded into a pained grimace. Lily touched his cheek softly, a thumb stroking over the bruise there. She shook her head, and pulled him toward her front porch. They sat together and watched the night for a little while.

"What happened Severus?" She finally asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it." He told her softly, as she took his hand in her own. She was a comfort to him in a time when he could find no comfort. He leaned his head on her shoulder. Taking a deep breath in, she smelled of her namesake, fresh cut lilies. He sighed heavily, wishing that she could love a creature like him.

They sat that way for a very long time. The night dark and quiet around them, she would not speak, and neither would he, but she would hold his hand, and give him a shoulder when he needed it.

As the sun began to peek over the horizon and cast a mellow pink over everything about them, Severus moved. He had fallen asleep at some point. He nudged Lily, and found that she too had fallen asleep.

"Lily." He said softly. She stirred slightly. "Wake up." He said hiw voice still soft. She was not waking quickly enough, and the sun was coming up fast. He saw only one option. He moved slowly, as if toward a deer. He turned her face toward him slowly, and pressed his dry cold lips to hers. He was amazed when she kissed him back, her eyes flashing open and then slamming shut again.

At nine, it was his first kiss. Slowly he pulled away from her. "You have to go back to your bed. If my father catches me, he'll kill me." Severus said softly, moving quickly to leave her. "Good bye Lily. Thanks."

"You're nothing but a worthless Halfling. I'll beat the magic out of you boy!" Tobias yelled as he brought his fist down hard again and again. "Your mother encouraged you, but she's gone now, left us both for that wand wielding big shot." There was nothing Severus could do to escape the abuse. "You'll not use that hocus pocus in my house ever again." Tobias staggered back, before taking a swig from his bottle.

Severus was on the edge of consciousness. He could feel the blood running from his nose, and the bruises forming on his ribs as he tried to breath.

Severus tried to think of Lily, tried to think of the night they had shared those years ago on the porch, in the dark. The thoughts were twisted, and jumbled, nothing was as it should be. He was home for the summer holiday after his first year at Hogwarts, and that meant no magic, and no Lily Evans, she had found another boy who piqued her fancy, James Potter, the name was bitter in his mouth, the bully.

His father was furious, and stormed from the room, to the pub Severus imagined. As he lay there bleeding, battered and bruised, he made an oath. He would learn every dark thing there was to know, he would use it, and he would have revenge on his father. As he gasped for breath, the darkness within him grew. He knew he was capable of the terrible things his father did, and more. It was in his blood, he was a half-blood, but he would do great things.

Severus sat in the alcove. He was trying to find the one part of himself that was left. That part that still loved. He could feel it gnawing at him. And he could feel the burning of the mark on his forearm. He was panting with the pain and knew that soon he would be drawn to the Dark Lord.

Lily. He thought of her as the mark tugged at him. He had been stupid, but it was too late now, he would do the bidding of the Dark Lord, and he would do it with pride. He could have no feelings for Lily Evans. He could not think of her. He must put the wall into place. Keep her safe. Keep her out of it. The Dark Lord could not know his feelings for her. The Dark Lord could torture him, and he would suffer through it, but he would not go to her in his mind, as he had so many times as a child. He would protect her, even as he murdered her kind.

He sighed and moved out of the school and toward the dark forest where he could apparate. As he moved he tried to put the wall in place, as his mind made the leap the wall slammed down. He focused on the tasks at hand.

He could feel the poison flowing through his veins. He was slipping away, slowly. The world began to spin out of control, as the gigantic snake slithered away. His world was ending, he knew that he had done all that he could to redeem himself. He could go to Lily, clean. He was only sad that he had not be a better man from the first.

As he lay there, the world spinning, he heard a soft voice in his ear. "You are all you ever should have been." Severus took a final breath and sat up, leaving his body behind. He smiled to see her there. A hand extended. James was there and smiled as well, a friendly smile, one he never gave in their lives together.

"Come on Severus, we've been waiting for you." A multitude of voices sang, but he only heard one. Lily.


End file.
